Coping with Loneliness During the Holiday Season: Psychology Insights and Strategies

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of connection, family, and celebration. For many people, however, it can be a lonely and difficult period, even if they are surrounded by others. Loneliness at this time of year is common and normal. It is a reflection of our natural need for connection and the gap that sometimes exists between what we hope for and what we experience.

Understanding why loneliness happens and what you can do about it can make the holidays feel more manageable.

Why the Holidays Can Make us Feel Lonely

There are several psychological reasons the festive season can intensify feelings of isolation:

1. Heightened social comparison
Social media and cultural messaging often portray holidays as joyful, family-filled, and perfect. Comparing your own experience to these images can make you feel “less than” or excluded.

2. Changes in routine
Holidays often disrupt normal routines, which can reduce opportunities for social connection. If you live alone, work less over the holidays, or have children away, your usual social touchpoints may disappear.

3. Increased awareness of loss or absence
The holidays can highlight missing relationships (whether due to distance, separation, or bereavement) triggering feelings of grief or emptiness.

4. Internalised expectations
Many adults feel pressure to feel happy and “celebrate properly.” When reality does not match expectation, feelings of loneliness or shame can increase.

The Psychology of Loneliness

Loneliness is not a personal flaw. Research shows it is a signal that our social needs are not being met, much like hunger signals the need for food.

• Chronic loneliness can affect both mental and physical health, increasing stress and risk for anxiety or depression.

• Situational loneliness, like that which arises over the holidays, is temporary and can be eased with connection and self-care strategies.

• Feeling lonely does not mean you are alone. It’s about perceived social disconnection, which means even when surrounded by people, you can feel lonely if interactions do not feel meaningful.

Strategies to Reduce Holiday Loneliness

While loneliness cannot always be eliminated, there are evidence-informed ways to reduce its impact:

1. Seek meaningful connection
Even brief interactions can improve wellbeing. Consider:

• Phone or video calls with friends or family

• Sending a message of appreciation to someone you care about

• Joining a group or community activity, online or in person

2. Focus on giving
Acts of kindness, volunteering, or supporting others can reduce feelings of isolation and increase a sense of purpose.

3. Maintain some routine
Keeping sleep, exercise, and daily rituals in place helps regulate mood and reduces the emotional weight of loneliness.

4. Allow yourself to feel
Acknowledge that loneliness is normal. Avoid self-criticism. Mindfulness or journaling can help process emotions without becoming overwhelmed.

5. Create intentional solo experiences
Plan small moments that bring you joy, even if they are solo:

• Watching a favourite movie

• Cooking a meal you enjoy

• Spending time in nature

• Connecting with pets

When to Seek Extra Support

Feeling lonely occasionally is normal, but professional support may be helpful if:

• Loneliness persists beyond the holiday period

• It impacts daily functioning, work, or relationships

• It triggers anxiety, low mood, or physical symptoms

A psychologist can help explore underlying patterns, build coping strategies, and support more meaningful connections.

A Final Note

Loneliness over the holidays is common and understandable. It is not a failure or something to be ashamed of.

Small, intentional steps such as connecting with others, creating rituals, and being compassionate with yourself can make the season feel more manageable.

Even during the busiest or loneliest moments, connection is possible. Reaching out, however small, can make a difference.